A STORY

“You live where?!” her voice had a mix of surprise and concern.

“Ouakam (pronounced: Wa-Kam). I want to live in a more bustling, Senegalese area. It’s one reason why I came to Africa.”

I was excited! And now I was starting to explain myself. I wasn’t sure why. Feeling some disapproval from Madeleine, a local Senegalese woman, was making me nervous.

“I hope you’re safe there,” she began, “They will watch you every day and see your habits. Then when you’re not home they break in.”

“I’m taking the 3rd floor apartment,” was all I could say.

“They climb up the outside of the building,” she didn’t even pause for a breath. “And don’t give your keys to anyone, not even the security guard.”

“They can take what they want, I don’t have much!” I joked. It was a new apartment and still fairly empty.

“Yes, but they don’t know this. You are a foreigner, so they will assume you have much.”

I took in what she was saying but didn’t pay it too much attention. Mainly because it felt like she was describing someone else’s life. Not that I’m not careful, I just felt good about the choice I was making to live in Ouakam. I trusted my choice.

Or so I thought.

It only took a couple of hours to have an impact. All of a sudden I was walking through the neighborhood, feeling mildly suspicious. Wondering who was watching me, who wanted something from me. Starting to doubt the decision I’d made.

Thankfully, I was aware of what was happening and realized quickly that I had taken on someone else’s fears. Madeleine was in the middle of a string of bad experiences – a cheating boyfriend, losing a best friend, a boss who had let her down.

Her life was full of stories of people causing her pain.

But my life is full of stories of people being trustworthy and generous.

I didn’t need to believe her fears, but I did need to be careful who I talked to about living in Ouakam…

~~~~~

PEOPLE AND ADVICE

New ideas must be protected.

There is a period of time between when you make the decision to do something new, and you have experience from doing that new thing. For example: The time that passes from deciding to live in Ouakam and spending some time living there.

This time period is usually when you uncover the validity of your new decision. The time when I find out if my “idea” to be in Ouakam was actually the right choice for me based on my experience.

It’s a vulnerable time. No matter what the action. Whether you leave a relationship, start a new career, try a new haircut, or decide to move to Africa… there’s a time when you have to live your decision and this is the time when it really matters who you talk to.

Most people will give you advice based on their experience of life. So if you’re talking to your friend, Jean, about negotiating different work hours with your boss and Jean is a glass-half-empty kind of person – then you may find yourself backing out away from doing something that actually could have turned out really well for you.

New ideas need validating and nurturing. That’s how they grow and mature. And as a result we learn to trust our own sense of life more than anyone else’s. If you’re only surrounded by naysayers or cynics then it might be time to consider hiring someone who can help you nurture what you want – or find new friends.

As it turned out, within a short period of time in Ouakam I found out I had to leave as the pollution was harming my health. No one climbed my balcony, I made friends with the three older guys who sit on the wall outside the apartment building every day either eating or listening to the football. The fruit seller wants to be Facebook friends, and I’d definitely trust the security guard, Omar, with my keys…

I had a very positive, although short, experience in an area I still love. And it’s helped me clarify the next step in my journey.

But that’s typically my experience in life: things work out and people are generally good.

What’s yours?