Anxious?

It’s surprising and saddening to me how many people I meet who are managing anxiety. Feeling powerless in its grip. Knowing that it’s zapping some of the colour from life ~ but not knowing what to do about it.

In the face of feeling powerless to change something, people commonly revert to coping behaviors that fit into one or more of these three categories:

Medication ~ meds, food, booze, shopping, gambling…

Denial ~ it’s not that bad, intellectualizing.

Distraction ~ i’m too busy to deal with this, overwork, emotional outbursts…

Until one day they find themselves closer to their deathbed, or want to be a better example to their children; maybe they can’t handle the pain of feeling alone anymore, or they suffer a huge loss (of job, of health, of love).

It’s as if the part of them that wants to risk more and feel more alive can no longer be restrained.

It’s a wake up call.

And a needed one, because anxiety will have you believe that you should not be doing the things that you know deep in your heart you want to do and are very capable of doing. It saps courage and clarity.

For many years, I struggled with this myself. I got to a point where I was somewhat resigned to never being free of the constant discomfort. It impacted so many things ~ my ability to speak my mind, make certain professional decisions. Heck, it used to show up when I was trying to decide what to write ~ should I write X or Y, say this or that?! Ag! There was this pervasive doubt and nervousness that I lived with and it was exhausting.

If I could tolerate living less than a full, purposeful life, I probably would have carried on managing the dull ache of ‘something isn’t right here’, but I couldn’t get myself to believe that it wasn’t possible to be free.

So I did what I ask my clients to do all. the. time. I stopped and looked it dead in the eye, felt its intensity, asked a TON of questions, started to deeply understand why it was lingering (after all the years of personal development I’ve done!), felt my way into and through some deeply painful feelings, and unmasked some very important needs I had that were not being met.

I got to know the anxious, sweet, innocent, young parts of me that were generating those feelings. I gave them space and comfort, and I kept doing that until one day the feeling of anxiety eased. And then I was able to start making more life-affirming choices.

If you resonate with any of these words there’s a good chance you might be accepting something that you don’t have to. So I’ll plant the seed here…Where there’s a true desire, there’s a solution. Ready to find it?