Change.

We want to change an eating habit, the way we exercise, or how we dress.

Maybe something ‘bigger’? We want to change our job, some things in our relationship, or how much money we make.

Quick personal plug… I’m really good at change. I’ve made 5 significant country moves, lived in various cultures, found my way to a healthy relationship with food and my body, transformed my relationships, and morphed my business over 12 years to keep current with my own — changes.

I’ve learned a few things.

And as with all good newsletters, I’m breaking it all down into 2 steps. Yup, that’s all it takes! 😀

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First step: A Plan

Typically we make a plan, determine a length of time, decide who to reach out to, or what new kind of food to buy, or start learning about different types of investing…

I won’t dive more into this because I think most of us know about planning. We’re doing it almost all the time. We might not be doing it well – but we’re all doing it. We’ve all decided on a change or two and then gone for it.

This first step is important, no question. But what gives it legs is the second step. The second step determines whether we sustain or accomplish what we say we want.

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Second step: Embrace Identity Change (gain and loss)

It doesn’t matter if you want to clean up the clutter in your living room, or change your relationship with your boss… you have to buy in to the new version of you, and release parts of the old version.

Buy in is vital. If you don’t get excited about, or feel safe, or just ‘know’ that the new thing you want is who you really are – then you’ll get knocked about by other people’s verbal and non-verbal opinions about your change.

Lose the clutter, maybe lose a part of you who feels comforted by the chaos. This means you’ll need to imagine a new way to get that comfort need met. Then the tidy version of you can come out and play. 

Change means loss. Always. And what you change is determined by what you’re willing to let go of. And which parts of yourself you’re willing to walk away from / transform.

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Ideally we roam through life discarding aspects of ourselves we no longer need. This is the nature of growth and the birthplace of joy, contentment, and peace.

Holding on causes discontent.

I encourage you to imagine your way into the change you want. Try something small first, like wearing a colour you wouldn’t normally wear. Embrace that identify, release the part of you who lives in grey sweat pants for an hour or two, and see how it is. 
Track your emotions, your thoughts, y’know… research the experience.

The more you do it, the easier it becomes. I promise. Now go choose some changes and imagine (along with a few tears) this new, fresh version of you emerging.

Trust me, (s)he’s clamoring to get out.