Do you find yourself holding your breath, fake-smiling, hiding in the back behind someone tall, offering to take the picture, or suddenly needing the restroom whenever someone goes to take a photograph that you could wind up in?
Hiding
When I notice I’m hiding from something (an event, a person, a conversation…) I do my best to sort through why, take a breath, and then – if I genuinely want to – show up.
This thing with photographs got me thinking. And here’s a really good reason for you and me to show up fully in photos. In fact – put yourself in the front, smile broadly, throw your arms in the air, sit on your friend’s lap, stand to the stand – anything EXCEPT hiding. Be you, be proud, don’t hide.
Why?
Because photographs are the only way to capture you as you are now… they’re your legacy. If you’re not in this picture, you can never ever again capture the you of that moment.
And yes, maybe right now that’s not appealing.
But as the years pass and you outgrow your self-consciousness (which you will) you might want to show your loved ones how you were through the years, so that they can marvel at how youthful you once were or chuckle at the clothing style you once wore, or gawp open-mouthed at the hair-do you once had.
Or perhaps you’ll want to take a trip down memory lane with yourself. Maybe you’ll look back and notice that even when you ‘felt’ 15 pounds heavier, you were actually the same shape and size you always had been; or perhaps you’ll remember that even when you ‘felt’ bad you did exciting things like travel to different places and have different experiences.
You might want to look back at your life and see how you’ve changed. And you can maybe love and appreciate yourself in hindsight, which can support your future self.
I once remember looking back on some old photographs and being amazed at how cute I looked! At the time, I was so sure that the ugliness I felt on the inside was screaming to the world outside – I didn’t ‘see’ or acknowledge what was really true. Yes, I was in pain – but I wasn’t ugly in any way.
Our spirits know what is true.
Judgment is never true – whether of ourselves or of another. Never. It’s merely a sign that there’s part of us that we have not yet fallen in love with.
So put a little of your self-consciousness aside.
When you reach 70 or maybe 80 years old you’ll be done with it anyway and you might want to take a journey back.
If you include your friends, you can remember the ones who came into your life for a reason, season or lifetime and warm your heart with the excellent choices you made. Imagine that moment arriving, of wanting to look back at that boyfriend or girlfriend that never worked out, or at the home you once lived in, or your best friend who went to Greece with you, and the other friend who went to Vegas with you and who you haven’t seen since! Imagine wanting to remember and not being able to – not having anything to look at; or perhaps having years where you were MIA – a year or two of just no photos with you in them. Maybe it was a tough year. Maybe that was worth a photo. Capturing a moment of uncomfortable truth – your truth. Your beautiful, precious, unique truth.
An Exercise – If You’d Like To Practice
Invite a friend over and take a hundred photos of you. Eat pizza, play music, have A glass of wine, and go until you’re completely comfortable and having a blast at the same time.
There will never again be another you on the planet. Never. Be proud of who you are. Share who you are. And search for and find that part of you that ‘knows’ absolutely for sure that you are a beautiful, strong, conscious, gifted spirit with much to offer.
And the next time there’s a camera in the vicinity… bring to mind a moment in your life when you felt at your absolute best, smile in response to that, and get in the front row! And sure, if the camera belongs to the visiting family from Idaho at the next table in the restaurant – what the heck! If nothing else you’ll give them something to laugh about when they’re 80 years old and looking back at their memories.
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